I got a 3rd Class...

As I glance through Social Media, I see several graduation images accompanied with captions like, "I just graduated with a First class...So happy to have obtained my 2:1! Chapter over, on to the next one..."

This post is for those that might have failed to attain those coveted end results for one reason or another.

I always say that my life is a testimony and people wonder why...Well, in 2015, I found out that I was awarded a 3rd class! And that even after my re-sits, I would have to wait until the following year to qualify for graduation. In that period, I didn't get grades that I could proudly post about, neither was I sure what would become of me or how I would navigate on from that point in my life.

Fast forward to now, and though I still have a long way to go, I want to use this opportunity to encourage those that might feel like they failed. You haven't! Yes, you find yourself in a position where you might need to go for some extra training, or pass through a different non-traditional route, or change short term plans altogether...because you are still alive, there is HOPE!

You might not feel worthy to post or might feel like you've let yourself and family down. But I want to personally encourage you to use this period and what you were able to gain (no matter how small), as a reminder and as part of your drive & motivation going forward.

Your grades can help, but will not determine the final outcome of your life. Take some time out to reflect on areas you could have approached better, list down all the positives that have come out of the process and time spent at university, and then with the help of some advisors, formulate a new life plan. You can still do great things in life!

In another post, I'll highlight some of the practical things I engaged in that have helped me along the way. In the mean time, please don't lose hope! Please don't give up! This set-back might be painful, but don't allow the pain hinder you. Instead channel it! All will be well!

Buying

If you knew you had to wait for a few hours before having an extremely important meeting, what would you do to occupy the time?

Because it goes against human nature to be patient, many people would spend the time whinging & moaning about the need to wait for what they thought should have been a straightforward meeting. Some would spend the time worrying about whether the meeting will still take place, whilst some would impatiently leave to do “other things”.

It’s one thing to be sure of the meeting itself. It’s another thing to Buy-in to the waiting process.

Life’s opportunities present themselves in phases, and most times, the time lapse between one phase and another can seem like an eternity. In such cases, one is tempted to moan, get annoyed, be unnecessarily anxious or even abort mission and move on to something “easier” and “more straightforward”.

In our process of waiting, there is joy to be had when we learn to appreciate the NOW, when we enjoy the free time we have, when we make full access of the resources we have access to now. Because a time will come when the meeting will be had-the next phase will begin. Will you regret not making the most of your NOW?

There is a region in Alaska where prolonged periods of darkness are experienced for up to 67 days in a row!

The “meeting” will take place soon. Be patient, but more importantly, accept and willingly make the most of the process and your NOW. Sleep more! Read more! Learn more! Let’s learn the art of Buying into the Buy-In.

You're scared aren't you?

Recently I’ve been meditating on the difference between being startled and being scared…

I finally reached the conclusion that, both can and usually will warrant an initial short term reaction which changes when considering medium to long term implications.

To be startled, is to feel or experience sudden shock or alarm, whereas being scared, speaks to more deep rooted and unpleasant emotions that could eventually hinder one from progressing, advancing or moving forward.

Speaking to myself first, I find that we often make unfair demands when we unnecessarily beat ourselves up for being startled in a moment. The sudden shock experienced from the unexpected speaks to active and functioning sensory organs and detectors more than anything. The fact that we jump when startled just means we are alive! It is one of the many in-built systems that have aided the survival of man over many centuries. Just because we were made to ‘jump’ when faced with a challenge or something we weren’t used to, doesn’t mean we aren’t prepared or qualified to progress and proceed. 

I write this for someone like me who has for-gone opportunities because they were startled in one way or another. Don’t allow some initial sudden shock succeed in scaring you off the path you were meant to venture! It is one thing to be scared - fear has its own remedy, but it’s another thing to allow a sudden shock to graduate into fear in our minds. We must not be unnecessarily hard on ourselves. It is ok to be startled. But it is NOT ok to allow that sudden shock to lead to long term fear. 

When faced with a sudden shock, especially when chasing goals and dreams, it is important to remind ourselves of these questions:

• Could there be other facts that I am yet to be made aware of that would further re-assure me for the journey I am embarking on?

• Will this really matter in the grand scheme of things?

• Am I giving this momentary shock more importance in my mind than actually exists?

• Are there previous similar experiences I can draw on where I worried and was scared unnecessarily?

• How can I learn from this sudden shock for the future? 

There is a difference between being startled and being scared. Don’t allow the short term shock, become a long term obstacle. 

When you ‘jump’, decide to proceed forward anyway! 

You were made for this! 

...Everybody say Yeahhhh!

Something to think on further…

“If we find ourselves moving from being startled to being scared, how do we overcome such fear, and is it solely mental?”

Let me know your thoughts below!

Memorisable Writing

Once upon a time, I was able to receive, retain and recall information by ear and off by heart. Now, seasoned with thyme, marinated, and more mature, I have come to appreciate the wisdom associated with writing down.

You get to a stage when the intricacies of your dealings, greater influence the success of the bigger picture, so, "I forgot", can no longer be used as an excuse. 

No matter how good your brain is, I encourage you to write down for two major reasons:

 1.) Just incase you actually forget something. It acts as your insurance. It also allows you to free your mind to be able to focus on other things...In trying to remember certain pieces of information, our short term memory can become ineffective to taking anything else on at that particular moment.

2.) For the eventuality that someone else needs to follow the same instructions. It's then available, to be followed at their convenience. Infact, it's one of the reasons people write books. It enables the writer (information source) to serve many at the same time. 

So, even if you have a good memory (tending towards photographic), you write down because of the people you've been called to serve; the people that weren't present but will require the information nonetheless, and the people that will ask the same questions over time... You can refer them to the piece of writing that answers the question and saves time. 

Once upon a time is NOW. Now, you must cultivate the habit of writing because, there is good sense in it. 

A Short Story by Elsie Marcus

Intent on observing the tadpoles that swam with agility and speed, she stubbornly pushed back the onyx coils that sprung from her head.

The water rippled in tendrils as Chidi stared closely. Once again her onyx kinks sprung precariously from her head before dropping right before her eyes. Without hesitation, she flung them back, intent on maintaining her laser-like focus on the fish tank. The tadpoles swam with an agility and speed that pushed Chidi closer to the edge. In child-like wonder she rose onto the tip of her toes and pressed her nose firmly against the cold glass, wishing with all her might that she too could be like the tadpoles. She wanted to swim through the sea with elegance, feel the water spray against her skin when she dived into open air, and eat all the food she wanted, but alas, she looked down at her feet before gazing sadly at the tadpole. With her nose still firmly pressed against the glass, she let out a downbeat sigh. She would never be able to.

“Chidima Agu, move away from the glass this instance!”

Wobbling from the sudden outburst, Chidi struggled to regain balance, but found herself being abruptly pulled from the large fish tank. Before she could open her mouth, she found herself firmly planted next to her mother who held onto Chidi’s small wrist in hopes of keeping her rooted.  Chidi tried to wiggle away, back to her fish friend in the water, but her mother wouldn’t allow it, not again.

“Chidinma we have to go, now is not the time for your games, please” Stress marred Stella's features as a frown, and the wrinkles under her eyes seemed to add years to her once youthful face. Chidi was considered too young to understand, but she did, and so she gripped her mother’s hand in hope she would realise Chidi understood her frustration. In silence, Chidi’s eyes wandered to the fish tank, her mind consumed with thoughts of the sea and the little tadpole.

Heavy footsteps preceded a soft face and an even softer voice; “And I assume you’ll be back for your next round of chemotherapy next week? Doctor Onyeka looked expectantly at Stella, a sympathetic smile on his face as he awaited her reply.

“Oh, yes... yes, I’ll be back next week”. Her words were laced with fatigue, and Chidi noticed but her young mind couldn’t comprehend the reason behind it, or the meaning of chemotherapy; It sounded more like a cool alien word to her. Wrapping her scarf tightly around her, Chidi, cast one last longing glance towards the fish tank before following her mother out into the fresh snow.

“Wait... Just one moment” Doctor Onyeka briskly followed Stella out the door and gently held the crook of her elbow.

“Stella, are you sure you want to do this alone? Is there no one you can bring, for moral support?” His eyes scanned over her with a fatherly concern.

“No, no it’s fine, I can do this, I have to” She attempted to smile but doctor Onyeka's words struck a chord in her. She had cancer. She was alone. Thanking the doctor for his concern, she grabbed Chidi's hand and continued towards the car with stiff movements. Chidi looked up at the woman she saw as everything and wanted nothing more than to put a smile on her face.

“Mummy?”

“Yes sunshine?”

“Mr Onyeka was wrong.”

Stella chuckled in disbelief and looked at Chidi.

“What do you mean?”

“He was wrong mummy. You have me, I’ll always be here for you, forever and ever and ever!”

Time seemed to stand still as Stella looked down at her daughter. Affection bubbled through her as she scooped Chidi into a bear hug, burying her tear-stained face into her Onyx kinks. Stella knew in that moment that her mini-me was the reason she had to survive this breast cancer. There was no other option. Chidi squealed in delight, oblivious to the woes of her mother, but all the happier to help.